Sensuality

Who are you when no one’s looking?

Shirts Hanging on Clothes RackWhen you are out in the world, is your appearance different than when you are at home alone? I’m curious. At this time in my life, I’m not out as much as I was when I had a vibrant career, was an busy mom of two sons, and was much more socially active. For years, I had a home office and I learned very early that the “proverbial talking with clients and doing billable work in my pajamas” just didn’t work for me. I knew I was not at my best when I felt I didn’t look my best. Every day, I take a morning shower, get dressed, do my hair, put on make up, and spritz my favorite perfume. Even if I never see anyone else. What’s that about? It’s about self-care and valuing myself.

I know there are those occasional “do-nothing days” as my mom calls them, when you just hunker down and lounge around in a bathrobe even if you’re not sick. But what about all the other days?

When I’m dressed in something clean, well fitting, and attractive, I always feel better. Who do we dress for? Some women will say we dress for men. Oh come on now….really! I think men (husbands, lovers, pals, or the UPS guy) rarely notice what we’re wearing. I do feel they are very aware of our presence, our energy, smile and general attractiveness. I think (consciously or unconsciously) as a young woman I probably dressed for other women. However, now at midlife, I dress for myself and the feeling I get when I’m well-dressed. I’m not a fashionista, but I know what I like, what looks good on me, and most importantly, what feels good for me. This is not just when I leave the house, it’s also when I am all by myself.

This is not the time of life to shortchange yourself and not feel your best. This is a period of our lives when we have time to polish our presence and take good care of ourselves.

Even when no one’s looking.

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