A few years ago, I wrote a blog about saying “no”. Now I’m almost as good as a 2-year old girl about saying “no,” but hopefully not as defiant! The act of saying no is so freeing and I feel great afterwards. At the same time, it helped me learn when and why to say “yes” more thoughtfully and with positive intention. I’ve really noticed a difference in my life and my state of mind. Today, I’d like to talk about the value in saying “yes”.
1. Say “yes” to those people who energize, inspire, support and like you.
I’ve decided I don’t want to spend my precious time in a struggle with relationships where I don’t feel better for the time spent. Most of us have a few people in our life who exhaust us, treat us poorly, or make us uncomfortable, “less than”, or worse. It doesn’t matter if they are clients, service staff, salespeople, friends, or even family. If you are not better for the time spent with someone — take your time, money and love elsewhere. Life is just too short! If you must interact with them, then minimize the time you spend with them and consciously maintain healthy boundaries. Getting enough rest, positive self talk, brief stays or encounters, and the counsel of a good friend all help.
2. Say “yes” when someone asks if they can help you.
Let’s say you’re having friends over for dinner and they ask, “what can I bring?” Thank them for their kind offer and suggest something. If you’re the type of person who carefully plans your menu with very specific food in mind, then its better suggest they bring a bottle of wine or other beverage. And above all, graciously accept the offer.
3. Say “yes” to putting yourself first. Take very good care of yourself.
Rest, drinking enough water, daily exercise and time for relaxation and fun are essentials to your well being… and to maintain good health. Self-Care is essential, particularly during the holidays, times of travel, stress, or winter. Treat yourself to a good book, movie or a long conversation with close, cherished friends.
4. Say “yes” to a beautiful space.
Whether this space is your bedroom, office, car or living room, notice how you feel when you’re in this room. Is it clean, orderly, and contain lovely, soul-nurturing things? Or is it a dumping ground for all the stuff in that doesn’t have a home? Look around at the clutter, papers, clothes strewn about, and any items in the room that no longer support who you are today. Is the lighting appropriate for the room, warm, soothing light for a bedroom or sufficient work light for an office. (Studies have proven that electronic light and devices actually have a negative effect on your sleep, so get that smartphone out of there.) When a space doesn’t enhance your well-being, it is agitating, creates emotional stress and doesn’t allow you to focus on the purpose of the room. A beautiful space awaits you under all the stuff, so find it.
It takes courage to say yes, so wear your badge proudly! You’ve earned it. Hope these help… would enjoy hearing your comments below.
This post was originally published in December 2014 and has since been updated.
Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time.
- Watch the sun set (or rise) at least once a week.
- Simply stand outside and slowly turn and observe what is all around you.
- When dressing casually at home, wear something attractive, soft and feels good.
- See yourself in a full-length mirror without commentary, (spoken or not).
- Buy a bouquet of flowers and put them in a beautiful vase.
Make passionate my sense of hearing…William Shakespeare
- Go on a “listening walk” in your neighborhood and notice the different sounds.
- Sit alone and listen to a classical music piece and try to identify the various instruments.
- Open a window or better, sit outside and listen to the birds in the morning.
- Listen to music sung in a foreign language.
- Don’t turn on the radio or TV when at home or in the car.
Wake up and smell the coffee…Ann Landers
- Taste a flight of 3—wine, chocolate, apples, honey. Notice the differences in each.
- Try a new recipe. (Read Isabel Allende’s Aphrodite for ideas)
- Cut up and slowly savor a fresh strawberry, peach, or an orange.
- In your daily pitcher of water, slice and add a lemon, orange, or cucumber.
- Wander a farmers’ market and taste samples of several fruits slowly and deliberately.
Smell is the sense of memory and desire…Jean Jacques Rousseau
- Visit an aromatherapy store. Smell a variety of essential oils.
- Light those candles you’ve been saving for a special time. Today is a special time.
- Layer the scent and buy and use lotions that match your favorite perfumes.
- Open and use those wonderfully scented French-milled soaps.
- Line lingerie drawer with scented liners or sachets.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch…Helen Keller
- Stand barefoot on grass.
- Touch all the textures you are wearing.
- Take a bath—long, warm, delicious. Apply scented lotion after the bath.
- Go to a fabric store (or designer dress section of a store) and feel the various luxury fabrics.
- Handle food. Prepare food, noticing the variety of textures. Eat an entire meal with your hands.