Several women I know are going through major changes in their lives. At midlife, this seems to be the norm for us, not the exception. Life as we knew it 10-15 years ago and the roles we had, have changed dramatically. Often change slowly transitions us to new awareness or situations. In the best cases, change is anticipated and appreciated. However, there are times when we must initiate a major change in our life which at the time is painful for ourselves and others, but we “know” its for the best. For example, a seriously declining relationship leads to a woman’s decision of separation or divorce. Or, we’ve lived in the same place for years and we need to move. Other times, we’re thrust into change. An example of such a catalytic change is when someone is given a totally unexpected health diagnosis. Either way, the direction of our life is forever changed.
There is much written about change by change experts which can be extremely helpful. I want to share a few insights you might find helpful while in the midst of the swirling energies of change.
1. Change is a predictable process. At first, you feel awful, terrified, sad and lost. These feelings seem to come in waves. This won’t last forever, but it’s important to have a few touchstones in your day and routine. Perhaps it is your morning coffee in your favorite cup, walking your dog, gardening, or a good supportive friend to chat with regularly.
2. You don’t need to know the end result, just know you will get through it. Greater clarity will come with more information and in time. And the right person or resources will seem to miraculously show up. They always do!
3. There’s work and effort and alot of trial and error, you won’t get it right all the time. But you’ll learn, make adjustments and move ahead. You have the strength and wisdom to get through it. If one person has done it, it’s certainly possible for you.
Look at the road you’ve travelled to get here today and the experiences you have survived. Appreciate what you’ve learned about yourself, life and your strengths. None of us got here untouched by life, yet all of us are still here.
Trust you have what it takes and the courage to get through it. You do have what it takes and you will get through this.